1
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,240
I see heroin. I

2
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,200
use heroin. I inject it

3
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,080
in my body. I snore it in my body because

4
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,440
I'm addicted to it.

5
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,280
I'm a walking, *******

6
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,800
abomination.

7
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,800
Father, oh my

8
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:28,280
God, who give up

9
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,680
In our rightful mind,

10
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,720
Impure of life's

11
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,280
eyes of his mind,

12
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,480
In deeper

13
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,280
heaven's brave True cult

14
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,200
black metal is not about playing live,

15
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,040
not about being part of some ********

16
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,600
social scene, you know. It's just about,

17
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,280
you know, Satan.

18
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:04,840
God,

19
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,1000
it burns really bad.

20
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,400
You know, ******* dominating the *******

21
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,400
Christian church, you know, crushing it,

22
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,320
you know, putting our throne high above

23
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,040
the skull of God, you know, it's just

24
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,480
black ******* metal, man.

25
00:03:43,1000 --> 00:03:46,400
Hello?Hello?

26
00:03:47,1000 --> 00:03:50,600
Yeah, I'm ready. We'll do it.

27
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,400
This is Templeton. We've got curly hair,

28
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,600
whiskers are curly. Oh, they're awesome.

29
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,160
I used to have one when I was like 14.

30
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,800
They're just fun to have. They're mad

31
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,360
cool. I want to get another one because

32
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,200
he's kind of lonely. I've lived here

33
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,160
since nine months. I've been with

34
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,600
my boyfriend for like 9 months, so...

35
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,320
I've lived here since then. Well, that's

36
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,480
not my boyfriend. That's Chris. He's like

37
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,480
my brother. Yeah, he's been staying with

38
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,760
me since my boyfriend's gone. He's

39
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,320
supposed to be keeping me out of trouble.

40
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,960
Well, I like to get into trouble. Well, I

41
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,280
just, I get ****** ** a lot. A lot, like

42
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,160
on a daily basis. My boyfriend went out

43
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,800
to sea and I acquired a pretty bad

44
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,800
habit while he was gone. We met and

45
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,120
apparently I'm like everything he's ever

46
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,840
wanted. Yeah, he's in the Navy and he

47
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,480
comes home tomorrow. I spent

48
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,680
like $1,200 in a

49
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,320
five day period of his money cleared out

50
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,400
the ******* account altogether. Drugs.

51
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,200
All of it. All of it on drugs. No

52
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,040
groceries, no food. Well, I bought some

53
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,360
candy. Mostly crack and heroin.

54
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,320
And I was trying not to shoot up anymore.

55
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,200
because I almost died. I got some really

56
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,160
good ****. Pretty much what happened was

57
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,360
a friend of mine, he gets some really

58
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,560
good dope, so he hands me some. And

59
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,040
actually I called these guys and they

60
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,480
came over and I gave them some. I had a

61
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,680
little bit left. It wasn't enough for two

62
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,400
hits, but it was a littleA little bit

63
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,240
much for one, and I was like, Oh, ****

64
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,880
it, I'm gonna do it anyway, and I almost

65
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,560
died. It was really strong ****.

66
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,960
That was good ****. Wasn't that good ****?

67
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,040
They were trying to wake me up, smacking

68
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,720
me and all kinds of stuff. And when I

69
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,520
woke up the next morning, I started like

70
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:45,800
crying and screaming. Um,

71
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,1000
well, 'cause he left. I mean,

72
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:52,720
they're back. They're back.

73
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,560
Alright, I'm gonna clear some of this

74
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,160
table up. I'm the slave too, man.

75
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,720
Right there. I've been doing this ****

76
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,320
for four years, man. You wanna go first?

77
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,120
Alright.

78
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,920
You can call me Brad, I don't

79
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,840
give a ****. Yeah, my name is Doom, guys.

80
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:22,720
That's the magic right there.

81
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:29,920
Where you want

82
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,320
it?All right,

83
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:46,920
yeah.

84
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,640
It's a very good dope. I

85
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,560
wish you could feel what I'm feeling

86
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,520
right now. It's the greatest feeling in

87
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,640
the world, man. Like, the words can't

88
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,1000
explain it. It's better than sex. I mean,

89
00:07:11,1000 --> 00:07:13,920
this is the closest to heaven I will ever

90
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,920
know. God, I love this feeling. It's the

91
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,720
best euphoria there is to be had. Yeah,

92
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,760
without a doubt. Thank you. You're

93
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,320
still lovely.

94
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,120
I will be. Give me some money

95
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:32,760
and I'll call him.

96
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,1000
Oh God, where'd the cotton go?

97
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,080
I'll do some more and probably not out a

98
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,680
little bit. He'll be in and out.

99
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,760
She's sexy as hell. I'm gonna tell you

100
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,400
what, I wish I wish I was still with

101
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,920
Wendy, man. You'd have videotaped us, I

102
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,200
could have told her we wanted to ****

103
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,520
right now up on the roof of this table,

104
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:57,920
she'd have been all about it. And my

105
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,640
ex-fiance. She got thrown in prison while

106
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,560
we were engaged, man. And she's *******

107
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,640
going through all kind of ********.

108
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,760
******* took her aspirin and she's like,

109
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,280
just **** me in the *** **** me in the

110
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,1000
*** and choke me, punch me in the back of

111
00:08:09,1000 --> 00:08:12,560
the head. She's in prison. I'm still

112
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,160
madly in love with her. That woman would

113
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,120
do anything for me. It's good

114
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,440
to snort. Oh, she's definitely a capable

115
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,760
guy. I'll tell you what, as soon as she

116
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,760
gets out, get married.

117
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,120
What's up?You want a ride?I just

118
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,640
snorted. I started a cap of heroin. What

119
00:08:33,1000 --> 00:08:35,080
kind of beer you want?

120
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:40,840
Here's one of your four packs.

121
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:00,880
This

122
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,480
is the song I wrote about Angie once you

123
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:10,680
die.

124
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,360
That's why I drink.

125
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,320
So?I loved you and that after you

126
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,280
loved it. That's right, I

127
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,360
******** juice. You just loved

128
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,040
it. ******* Kool-Aid.

129
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,680
Perk a bang. We beat the **** out

130
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,200
of her the one night, but her little girl

131
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,1000
was awake. Unbaptized fat to make candles

132
00:09:45,1000 --> 00:09:47,520
out of her. And fully aware that her

133
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,280
mother's ******* crackhead. I'll smoke

134
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,200
some more. And what I mean, my pupils are

135
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,920
so ******* tiny. I

136
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,760
found her, she was abandoned, little

137
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,680
bitty bitty kitten, and I brought her

138
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,440
head, but she doesn't walk on a leash

139
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,920
anymore. The fact that I do drugs on an

140
00:10:01,1000 --> 00:10:04,640
everyday basis. I want to do drugs

141
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,320
Her boyfriend lets him get away with a

142
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,240
lot of **** A lot of **** he lets him get

143
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,640
away with everything And he doesn't do a

144
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,360
******* thing He's a cool guy, but he's

145
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,920
in the Navy Yeah, he's from South Africa

146
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,880
This man is a ******* savior dude

147
00:10:20,1000 --> 00:10:22,960
He'd call me and I'd be like I'm sick and

148
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,600
he'd be here in like a half hour with

149
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,800
something if you will That's a true

150
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,160
friend, yeah Oxycontin is a

151
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,600
pharmaceutical heroin Oh yeah, I have a

152
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,560
gold mine of it if you willMy mom's

153
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,400
prescribed it. Just ask my mom

154
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,400
and tell her I'm dope sick. And my mom's

155
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,160
got Legionnaire's disease. Got it.

156
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,560
Dude, one more shot. What a shot, man.

157
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,240
We're using three eggs. Do you have

158
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,200
AIDS of any kind?No. We're

159
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,520
all dope fiends, man. Heroin.

160
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,280
It's all heroin. I'm more than likely

161
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,320
going to pick you again. Okay. I'll call

162
00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:58,440
you.

163
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,280
I don't talk to anybody in my family. Oh

164
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,960
no, brother, believe me. Mother been

165
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,440
telling me she hates me since I was 12

166
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,800
because I remind her of my father. My

167
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,400
father killed himself when I was two. I

168
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,480
never knew my real dad. He put a shotgun

169
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:15,920
in his mouth for sure. Hey ***** I've

170
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:16,760
probably done a 10.

171
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,400
I'm the dope man. I can get

172
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,040
anything I want. If it's around here, I

173
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,880
can get it. I've been around for a long

174
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:49,920
time and I'm well trusted.

175
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:54,880
Come on.

176
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,960
I'm just not all on earth as he's

177
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,880
human. God is living. Keep up, baby.

178
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,720
Come on, sit

179
00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:26,010
up. Don't fall out on me, man.

180
00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:31,930
Don't fall the **** out.

181
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,400
Are you still here?All right,

182
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,320
stay. Hey!

183
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,520
Hold him up. All right.

184
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,720
Hold him up. You all right, Bob?Keep him

185
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:51,200
awake.

186
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,840
Hey, Brian, look at him. Let me know

187
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,680
you're all right. He's all right here,

188
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,760
man. He's just really ****** **.

189
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,360
This is my all-time drug of

190
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,960
choice. Oxycontin. I like it better than

191
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,560
heroin. 40 milligrams of

192
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,040
ungodly pleasure. It's

193
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,800
pharmaceutical based. They give it to

194
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,560
cancer patients and people like my mom.

195
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,480
Mommy! Yup.

196
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,800
After everybody left, I went to bed, made

197
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,040
a ******* mistake to do and a couple caps

198
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,720
of dope and knocked the **** out and got

199
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,640
my wallet and all the money I got for

200
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,440
this project pretty much stolen. You

201
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,440
know, it could have been the upstairs or,

202
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,080
you know, could have been Raven, you

203
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,400
know, her damn stuff. It's sad, you know,

204
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,600
because I wanted to use it to get my

205
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,160
teeth fixed and on top of that, my dope

206
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,080
got stolen too, so... I

207
00:13:59,080 --> 00:13:59,920
was pretty ******

208
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,1000
I had this friend named Eric remember

209
00:14:04,1000 --> 00:14:07,680
Ferret used to live in Glenwood yeah

210
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,920
me and him were selling cocaine I was

211
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,320
dating a girl named Cookie I wasn't 21

212
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,600
yet and I needed to get some beer we went

213
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,960
out to Ocean View for this lady to buy me

214
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,120
beer as soon as I met her I was just like

215
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,240
holy **** she's somehow got a hold of my

216
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,280
number so she came and picked me up she's

217
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,720
like well let's go get some **** and get

218
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,720
high so she calls this guy up you know

219
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,560
we're sitting in this parking lot here I

220
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,640
amyou know, we're waiting on weed or

221
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,240
something, you know, because at that time

222
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,160
I didn't **** with anything. I do coke

223
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,680
every now and then, but uh, in fact it

224
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,480
was heroin. She introduced it to me and

225
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,400
it's just been downhill ever since, man.

226
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,560
Guy came to the car and gave her this bag

227
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,160
full of these little white capsules. I'm

228
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,680
like, What the **** is that?You know?She

229
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,640
was like, Boy. That's another word for

230
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,480
heroin around here. They call it boy.

231
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,600
They call cocaine girl. Why?

232
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,400
I really don't some ******* ignorant turn

233
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,160
that Rastafari ************ Snorted

234
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,840
there one for the first couple months

235
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,240
made her were living in and out of hotels

236
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,160
She always shot up and she didn't want

237
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,400
to be doing it at all So when she went to

238
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,280
bed, I just took her ****. I've seen her

239
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,120
do it enough times So I tried shooting

240
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,760
myself up and I missed she woke up and

241
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,600
she was like you ******* if you want to

242
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,280
do it, right?This is how you do it so

243
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,360
that she shot me I started shooting up

244
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,760
and I've been shootingup like that I used

245
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,720
to shoot right here but you got a movie

246
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,640
theater down there that

247
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,440
is about the **** it yeah sure alcoholic

248
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,200
right here my dad was an alcoholic and

249
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,120
mom's dad was an alcoholic my brother is

250
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,120
a severe alcoholic he's my *******

251
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,960
brother **** I get ******* belligerent I

252
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,640
******* pass out that's this ************

253
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,520
whack this ******* face **** my *******

254
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,400
*** all the ******* time whack my dad's a

255
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,120
Vietnam vet you whooped my ******* ***

256
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,040
mm-hmm quick **** whack that was it grab

257
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,320
me by my hair drove me down the *******

258
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,840
hallwayI told you to take off the *******

259
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,760
track what the ******* gut that ****

260
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,520
******* yeah I was gonna marry her she

261
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,560
was the one I don't know possessor to

262
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,400
******* become so weak to take her own

263
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,1000
life man there's been times where I

264
00:16:07,1000 --> 00:16:09,1000
wanted to die and I've tried it my damn

265
00:16:09,1000 --> 00:16:12,640
so I tried OD in and I couldn't even do

266
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,120
that right god I can't even kill myself

267
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,960
right I slept for like two days straight

268
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,1000
I think woke up **** all over myself

269
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,800
crazy ************ ************ I mean

270
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,200
************ **** and I love doing it but

271
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,920
I hate it justJust as much as I love

272
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,1000
doing it. I sometimes think I'm never

273
00:16:27,1000 --> 00:16:28,720
gonna stop.

274
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,760
She had just lost her kid. She had a

275
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,840
little girl. She had lost custody of her.

276
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,320
It killed her because she loved that

277
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,200
little girl with everything in her. Are

278
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,480
you married before some dude?Yeah, this

279
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,800
crackhead coke cream guy. I beat the ****

280
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,680
out of him in a church parking lot one

281
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,400
day. It was Easter and her father made a

282
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,080
******* mistake to make a comment about

283
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,280
Angie. And I beat the ******* **** out of

284
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,640
him in front of his daughter, which I

285
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,920
still feel bad for. In the church parking

286
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,800
lot?Yeah. ******* was kicking him into

287
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,400
space, you know, a lot of spaces on the

288
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,480
ground. I'll pick up aand batch your

289
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,920
******* head and she kept telling me to

290
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,760
stop she don't want to see her daddy get

291
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,240
his *** beat but that's what happened she

292
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,920
just was crying I'll never forget those

293
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,680
cries man I still hear him sometimes

294
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,800
screaming stop hurting my daddy stop

295
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,480
hurting my daddy but you know but you can

296
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,320
stop no once I'm in that rage man

297
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,080
it's I'm gonna ******* kill him

298
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,120
hi mommy what are you doing I'll be

299
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,360
over there in a little while but yeah

300
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,560
hello oh hey baby hey

301
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,960
hanging out. Yeah. Yeah.

302
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,600
Yeah. I cannot wait until you get back. I

303
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,200
love you. You know I love you. You've

304
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,120
just been driving me ******* nuts. It

305
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,240
really drives me crazy. All right, baby.

306
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,480
Bye. Okay.

307
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,520
I'm the man in the relationship. No

308
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,080
********. I'm in

309
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,680
control. Hey, baby.

310
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,440
About as good as I can be. Just

311
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,240
being me. Shoot up.

312
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,160
The other day it was kind of funny

313
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,880
because some guy cut my throat,

314
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,760
so... They're

315
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,280
just drinking, you know, being drunk and

316
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,400
there's a knife against my throat.

317
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,520
Oh my god, does it really matter?Oh, I

318
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,1000
don't know, I just met him that night

319
00:18:47,1000 --> 00:18:49,240
actually. He's an alright guy though.

320
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,840
Yeah, I'm a pretty boring guy. All I do

321
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,720
is listen to black men and read books.

322
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,920
Just all the darkness.

323
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,520
That's about it. Shapeless evil.

324
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,720
The wrath of Satan. Any wrong that you

325
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,680
can do against humanity, be

326
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,640
it rape, murder, shooting dope,

327
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,200
anything that can damage the human race,

328
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,320
bring it further towards itsannihilation.

329
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,520
black metal is not something like I don't

330
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,440
know I look at it in a whole different

331
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,200
way like I used to be a maniac about it

332
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,840
like everyone else is like you

333
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,720
know but I just gave away my whole

334
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,680
collection why cuz I don't

335
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,360
want material possessions anymore that

336
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,360
and I don't need it to prove my worth I

337
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:43,1000
know exactly where I stand

338
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:45,920
nowhere

339
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,400
Nowhere. I'm not. I'm not. I'm

340
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,160
not. I love you too. Bye.

341
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,280
Hello. Hello. Hello. Nothing, that's

342
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,880
about it. Just nothing. I think I'm going

343
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,360
to die soon, pretty much. Yeah.

344
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,440
Bored. Completely bored with life. The

345
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,880
only thing that really puts a smile on my

346
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,600
face is putting poison in my veins. I'll

347
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,080
probably OD something, something that

348
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,160
leaves my face good so I can have an open

349
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,160
casket funeral. Something different,

350
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,520
going to a different place. I mean,

351
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,440
there's really nothing, no reason for me

352
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,320
to be sad whatsoever, but I am. I always

353
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,1000
have been. I'm just naturally down.

354
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,680
That's why I got into black metal. Yeah,

355
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,1000
I mean, it found me. I didn't go out

356
00:20:35,1000 --> 00:20:38,600
looking for it. It just appeared. Impaled

357
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,440
Nazareth. First tape I got was

358
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,080
Toll Corp Norris Norris Norris.

359
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,040
It's one of the sickest albums ever. You

360
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,240
did it. It's nobody's ******* fault that

361
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,920
you're in. like people say that like oh I

362
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,440
had a horrible childhood and blah blah

363
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,640
blah and this is why I you know what I

364
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,800
had a wonderful ******* childhood you did

365
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,760
I had a great childhood very happy family

366
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,600
blah blah blah blah all that fun ********

367
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,1000
but you know what I still turned out to

368
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,760
be as ****** ** as I am now it's nobody's

369
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,680
fault but my own I did it myself

370
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,600
you know what I'm saying you agree with

371
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,360
that yeah but your childhood your

372
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,160
childhood was fine yeah I guess that it's

373
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,360
just naturally there

374
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:21,680
Always has been.

375
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,240
I think it's probably, I don't know. I

376
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,320
was introduced to death at a pretty young

377
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,200
age, like firsthand. My

378
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,1000
dad killed himself like 10

379
00:21:33,1000 --> 00:21:36,640
feet away from me. What did I do?No, what

380
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,240
did your dad do?Shot himself in the head.

381
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,920
Like he had cancer and he only had like a

382
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,160
week to live and there's a lot of

383
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,960
suffering and pain. So I watched him

384
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,720
die for about a year or two. By the time

385
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,200
he did it, he looked like nothing but a

386
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,960
skeleton, literally. The only thing that

387
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,680
had any kind of weight was his big ***

388
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,480
tumor in his stomach. Like a tumor with

389
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,280
arms and legs. He's pretty ******

390
00:21:59,280 --> 00:21:59,520
**.

391
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,280
If you're in that much pain, I don't

392
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,800
know. You've got the right to take your

393
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,520
own life. That's a good idea.

394
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,1000
Why live if you're not really living?

395
00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:26,460
I was born at Virginia Beach General

396
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:28,380
Hospital. Like, I was molested when I was

397
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:30,220
a little girl, so I've never met my

398
00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:31,620
biological father. I don't even know what

399
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:34,560
he looks like. And then she met this

400
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,520
guy and married him. And

401
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,320
he was great to her, really in love with

402
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,640
her, but he hated me. He hated you?He

403
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,520
hated me. The only time that me and him

404
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,920
ever spent together was when I'd get out

405
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,440
of the bath. When I was a little girl, I

406
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,680
had real long hair. And I'd get out of

407
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,160
the bath and he'd braid my hair. He'd

408
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,080
brush my hair and braid my hair. That was

409
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,200
the only time we ever spent together. He

410
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,920
called me fat, he'd tell me I was ugly,

411
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,880
and he knew that I was stupid. Like, I

412
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,520
remember when I was a little girl,

413
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,680
like, he played with me and stuff, you

414
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,840
know?And one night he was playing with me

415
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,160
and I was on the floor and he was on top

416
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,080
of me and he was tickling me. But I don't

417
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,720
remember any of it. You don't remember it?

418
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,360
I don't remember it at all. 'Cause I

419
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,920
don't do funerals. Like,

420
00:23:19,1000 --> 00:23:22,920
I deal with death by avoiding it.

421
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,960
Yeah, 'cause I'm the **** **. I'm the

422
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,200
biggest **** ** out of all of them. Out

423
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,080
of all of them?Out of all. You know, I

424
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,040
got pregnant when I was 15,

425
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,160
and then I got pregnant again when I was

426
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,360
17. Well, I met him when I was about

427
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,680
11. I lost my virginity when I was 12.

428
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,600
There was this guy, and

429
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,160
last time I checked, he was a crack kid.

430
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,440
Um, well, recently I haven't been seeing

431
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,480
him that much because I'm high all the

432
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,560
time, and I don't want to be around my

433
00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,280
kids when I'm high.

434
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,120
And your mom's cool with looking after

435
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,600
them?She's got custody of them. She

436
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,1000
pretty much took custody of them

437
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,520
from me. She actually told someone

438
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,400
that maybe she can do

439
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,360
right with them, or she didn't with me.

440
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,400
What do you think about that?

441
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,400
I think that if they're going to turn out

442
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,440
to be as ****** ** as I am, it's just

443
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,920
going to happen. You know, some people

444
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,440
are ****** ** because of things that

445
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,240
happen to them. But for the most part,

446
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,480
it's all in their own accord.

447
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,760
It really is. Even if they don't even

448
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,920
really understand why, like...

449
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,120
Hey, baby.

450
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,560
Baby, hang on a second, okay?

451
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,680
Hello?Bye. Hey, baby. I

452
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,480
lost you. Squirm for me, girl.

453
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,840
Squirm for me.

454
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:01,880
I'm ******! *******

455
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,1000
cop following us, man. That

456
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,120
made me nervous. Follow?Just had me

457
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,840
nervous as a *****. No, because we just

458
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,880
haven't had the cop following us, man. He

459
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,720
follows us all the way until we, like, go

460
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,520
past and pull into the parking lot. Like,

461
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,240
they got a bunch of narcotics on me.

462
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,560
Cut a piece off. Like, right there.

463
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,720
Burn it. That's all you gotta do. Burn it

464
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:31,680
so you don't see gold.

465
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,200
Crack is mental withdrawals. Yeah, it has

466
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,520
severe repercussions. I took the knife

467
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:55,840
from her to keep her from killing

468
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,520
herself, but I commenced to whipping her

469
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,320
***. So, I lost my house. Well, she has

470
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,240
marks on her. She just told you she was

471
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,720
trying to kill herself. Let her hack

472
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,440
herself the **** **! I've lost

473
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,080
everything I own. I've only been married

474
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,840
once, and I have two kids by her. While I

475
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,080
was gone, pending the court case, she

476
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,520
sold everything I own. Everything.

477
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,1000
So I've lost everything in the

478
00:26:17,1000 --> 00:26:19,1000
last couple of months. And I have no

479
00:26:19,1000 --> 00:26:22,480
body. I mean, really, I have no body.

480
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,1000
Get your elbow up my asthma.

481
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:30,200
Stop it!

482
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,480
Told you to stop it! Hello rabbit,

483
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,440
how are you feeling?I'm

484
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,240
feeling good. I wasn't sure. It

485
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,120
was good. It was good?Yeah. We shot a

486
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,240
bunny rabbit with a nail gun. We threw

487
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,040
him right on the grill.

488
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,600
He ****** that up. I ****** well up. I

489
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,160
was *******?Because I was ******* your

490
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,640
friend?Because we still ****** while I

491
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:58,480
was ******* your friend.

492
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,520
Yeah, I used to

493
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,600
have that **** on mine.

494
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:24,800
Come on.

495
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,840
It's an allergic reaction. That's why you

496
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,160
itch from it. My legs were actually

497
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,440
bruised from scratching it. Did you

498
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,840
get scratching it a little bit?No, I was

499
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,280
scratching it. How often do you smoke

500
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,080
crack?Just about every day.

501
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,600
I used to be a crackhead. It's fun to do.

502
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,720
The act of smoking crack is fun. As

503
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,760
you will see later. I enjoy it. Yeah.

504
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,480
Everyone's got their own technique as,

505
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,800
you know, how they do it. I get really

506
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,400
hyper and, like, wanting to kill somebody

507
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,920
and I smoke crack. I mean, I've done some

508
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,440
crack that's hardly done anything, and

509
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,640
I've done some crack that's made mevomit.

510
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,880
And I was locked up with her too. When I

511
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,600
was in TDH, Tidewater Detention Home, I

512
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,320
kept ******* up while I was on probation.

513
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,800
I kept ******* up. I had like 5

514
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,280
violations. I got pops with coke in my

515
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,640
**** and I didn't get my GED, and I

516
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,240
didn't do this, and

517
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,400
didn't do that. Hello?milligrams of

518
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,120
morphine. Xanax.

519
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,720
Damn near killed a kid. I gave him a

520
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,360
concussion. I broke four of his ribs, 30

521
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,080
some stitches in his face. He almost

522
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,880
drowned, man, because of Xanax. I *******

523
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,040
knotted out in a bowl of cereal, man. My

524
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:56,720
mom had to pull me ******* out. I had

525
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,640
long *** dreads at the time. I remember

526
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,640
****. Big *** bowl of cereal, man. Trying

527
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,280
to intentionally kill myself. I felt

528
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,320
pathetic. Dad, are you going to want to

529
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,680
get any more dope tonight?I was just

530
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,920
asking if you were going to want to get

531
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,760
more. I was blacked out

532
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,840
from eating Xanax. They told me that I

533
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,600
should have died. I was blacked out. I

534
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,520
used to pop pills. I was prescribed

535
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,920
Trileptol. Tegretol bipolar. It was

536
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,680
making me hallucinate to see people

537
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,680
walking through the wall. I was *******

538
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,800
dope sick. I started hallucinating. And

539
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,600
you'll swear it's real. I mean, they look

540
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,720
like they're there. I've never, ever seen

541
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,200
anything like that. Trileptol, Steroquil,

542
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,600
and trazone. Uh-huh. 50 milligrams of

543
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,400
trazone. described me in the 100s and he

544
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,1000
told me to take as many... Because you

545
00:29:38,1000 --> 00:29:41,160
were kicking dope?No. He was threatening

546
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,280
me, nightmares and stuff. He had people

547
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,600
following me. He would sit outside my

548
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,280
window while I was asleep and watch me

549
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,120
sleep. And I didn't get high. I was...

550
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,440
And I was sick prior to doing the two

551
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,200
caps that I did. I'm going to do those

552
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,360
other two caps because I want to get

553
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,920
high. She came to my house when I got

554
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,200
back together, planned on getting

555
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,680
married. She said she needed money to go

556
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,800
get a dress. Gave her $500 and she

557
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,320
bounced with my money. She used that

558
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:03,760
money so she could get back to West

559
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,480
Virginia to be with her baby's dad. Do

560
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,880
you realize that you raped me last night?

561
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,400
If you leave me, I'm going to kill you.

562
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,560
I'm going to kill you. So I'm going to

563
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,280
kill you. I knew he could hurt me. I was

564
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:13,840
afraid of him.

565
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,960
How many kids you got, bro?I got 2. Uh

566
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,600
huh. My son's eight and my daughter's

567
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,240
four. Where they at?With their mom.

568
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,760
Actually, right now, I can't see

569
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,920
them. Actually, my mother,

570
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,960
I told you she's real ****** **. Yeah.

571
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,160
But she has my son and

572
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,040
won't let me see him. You know what I

573
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,600
mean?They moved and didn't tell me where

574
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,760
they moved to. No, my mother went into

575
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,560
court and lied and took my son

576
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,960
from me. No, I didn't want her

577
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,240
having anything to do with my son, 'cause

578
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:52,960
I didn't want her ******* him up like she

579
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,640
did me. And now she is, anyway. Well,

580
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,920
he seems like he's happy, but it's not

581
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,200
right, you know what I'm saying?That's my

582
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,160
boy. I mean, he looks just like me. I

583
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,040
mean, exactly.

584
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,880
I'm Raven's sportsman, Mark Dykel.

585
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:32,960
And how long have you guys been together

586
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,440
for?Let's see, a year and

587
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,880
eight months. And you don't do any drugs?

588
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,920
No. What do you think about Raven's drug

589
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,600
use?I don't like it. I don't like what it

590
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,840
does to her, physically and emotionally.

591
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,440
Raven has two kids. She loves her kids

592
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,040
more than life itself. But

593
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,360
I just hate the fact that what she does

594
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,760
and, you know, how it impacts

595
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:58,880
her relationship with her kids. I mean,

596
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,480
we fight about it all the time. I tell

597
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,920
her that, you know, she needs to stop,

598
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,480
because when we first met, she was clean.

599
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,520
She'd been clean a week, and then we met,

600
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,520
and we got together. And she

601
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,760
was, one day she just dropped, you know,

602
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,760
Do you mind if I smoked little crack?And

603
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,560
I didn't know a thing about drugs. I was

604
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,760
like, you know, okay, yeah. Little did I

605
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,920
know that, you know, a year and whatever

606
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,600
lately now she's doing heroin and stuff,

607
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,680
you know. I was working there part-time

608
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,160
trying to pay for my divorce. And

609
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,360
she came in one day and I think, wow, you

610
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,240
know. We spent about every single day

611
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,240
when I'm known out to see, we spent every

612
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,800
day together. She was real sick and I

613
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,200
hate seeing her sick. I tell her, I'm not

614
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,520
buying you drugs. I'm not spending my

615
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,080
money on your drugs 'cause it's just...

616
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,680
I took her to the emergency room twice

617
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,520
and it cost me $1,700 each time 'cause I

618
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,1000
hate to say it, but that timeI just took

619
00:32:53,1000 --> 00:32:55,840
my guitar and I pawned it over 40 bucks,

620
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,600
gave her the money and she went and got

621
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,680
well. Next day, same thing.

622
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,160
all right that's what I'm saying same

623
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,560
thing pulling so much stuff I have my DVD

624
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,200
player and my TV we pulling that off you

625
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,360
need it all for revenue yes uh you

626
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,600
wouldn't believe the stuff I've done for

627
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:10,880
her I would

628
00:33:15,1000 --> 00:33:18,080
it's again this ABC long Virginia I get

629
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,160
in trouble but I can't help it when I get

630
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,560
into this like I be

631
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,880
dancing like ******** like crazy

632
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,720
It's so much more, it's so hard to

633
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,640
explain, man. It's more than just a genre

634
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,600
of music, you know?More than just a

635
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,200
lifestyle, you know?I live and *******

636
00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:14,160
breathe black metal. I mean, black

637
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,080
metal's foremost should be about Satan.

638
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:17,760
It is, you know, its roots are founded on

639
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,560
Satanism. Black metal vocals are the

640
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,440
sickest, just high-pitched shrieks, you

641
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:22,800
know, screaming, you know, **** all that

642
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,960
guttural ********. A band called Bathory

643
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,120
started the whole high-pitched, you know,

644
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,040
shrieking ****. Yeah, Bathory was the

645
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,280
**** man. The singer of Bathory, he died

646
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,720
two years ago. He ******* died. Bathory

647
00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:35,920
was so way ahead of his time. Their first

648
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,240
three albums were real raw, grim-ass

649
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:39,1000
******* you know, old-school black metal,

650
00:34:39,1000 --> 00:34:42,560
and then after that, theywent on this

651
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,280
whole Viking thing, which is cool

652
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,520
because people from Sweden, Norway,

653
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,160
all about Odin, Norse mythology and ****.

654
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,840
You don't just become a Satanist or

655
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,480
anything, man. It's either ******* born

656
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,120
in you or it's not. You're not gonna know

657
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,600
when you're a kid if you're a Satanist or

658
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,800
not. I'm just saying, you just become

659
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,880
awakened one day. That ******* cloak do

660
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,920
what thou wilt shall be the whole of the

661
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,560
law. That's the way it should be. Don't

662
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,760
deny your basic primitive human *******.

663
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,440
Although I do,believe in a higher power,

664
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,240
something had to ******* create all this

665
00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:15,440
********. I'd much rather ******* burn

666
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,120
for eternity than to be up there doing

667
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,160
******* push-ups. This is the way Satan

668
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,720
works. This is exactly how Satan works.

669
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,480
they never hold a raven and she and he

670
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,360
just say it's Satan it

671
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,400
manipulates your mind it leads you it

672
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,080
turns you against God Satan isn't here to

673
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,720
bring you to him Satan's job is just to

674
00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:35,280
make you believe that there is no God he

675
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,080
could care less if you believe in him as

676
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,040
long as you don't believe in God brad and

677
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,200
raven it's Satan's work that's Satan at

678
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,760
work Satan is looking at what his work

679
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,880
with raven and brad and smiling I'm doing

680
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,120
this because I feel like I'm indulging

681
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,880
If it feels good, do it. My belief is

682
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,880
that y'all are just living a dream, man.

683
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,320
This is nothing but a dream. When you

684
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,800
die, you wake up. This is hell. And we

685
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,880
all unite. This is hell. This right here,

686
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,440
this is ****** ** man. This ain't

687
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,120
nothing. Man, this ******* ********. Just

688
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,920
a nightmare dream, dude. We all wake up

689
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,160
one day. That's what we're up with this

690
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,160
****. I wish

691
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,600
my parents, my parents were three months

692
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:12,200
before I was late.

693
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,520
Yeah, close it here. ******* cop, man. I

694
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:18,640
hate a ************ in the uniform.

695
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,840
Uh-huh. If you're an 89, come

696
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,680
here. Try to get away from the real

697
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,560
phone. Five, senior cousin.

698
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:28,800
You better hope he never walks out the

699
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,760
gates of the prisons. In the last 11, 12

700
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,840
years he's been one. For what?

701
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:37,920
All

702
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:42,080
right, let's do that, bro.

703
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,200
This is the perils of druggies.

704
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,040
Oh yeah, you wanna see something real

705
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,440
****** **?Yeah,

706
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:57,680
scary ****. Y'all ready?Yeah, man. Here

707
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:58,160
it comes.

708
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:01,360
Look at

709
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,080
that one. I could slit a newborn's throat

710
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:07,320
with them.

711
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,440
Once a junkie, always a junkie. I am

712
00:37:13,1000 --> 00:37:14,1000
proof of that.

713
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,240
I have an abscess in my armpit.

714
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,120
That's the drug that's coming out of my

715
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,680
body. That's where it comes out. It's

716
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,640
gonna form a, um... It's

717
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,240
gonna form like a head, and it's gonna

718
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:40,560
burst. When you mist, and it doesn't go

719
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,040
into your vein, it's just, it's kind of

720
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,160
floating around on your ******* skin. It

721
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,880
has to come out somehow, and well, that's

722
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:48,320
how it comes out, like, fun.

723
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,320
I really do love crack. I like crack a

724
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,840
lot. I form a...

725
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,160
very special bond with all of my crack

726
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,040
dealers. Like my one dude, BJ,

727
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,160
he looks out for me and he makes

728
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,160
sure that, you know, that I'm okay. And

729
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,120
he, see, my mom

730
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,600
was Miss Tidewater Go-Go,

731
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,480
1979. She

732
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,080
used to be a go-go dancer. She lives

733
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,440
actually right up the street, but she

734
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:27,920
don't dance no more. Do you talk to her?

735
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,240
She's my mommy. I mean, she's a *******

736
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:34,720
*****. You know what?When I kicked,

737
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,280
I got more praise from my dope

738
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,160
dealers than I did from my own

739
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,880
mother. She's a *****. It's like

740
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,600
this, okay?No matter what I do,

741
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,320
I could've done it better. Um, actually,

742
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,560
uh, I don't know my biological father.

743
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,040
She, when I was a little girl, she told

744
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,920
me that, um,My daddy

745
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,800
was an oyster. Yes,

746
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:04,720
I can show this to all your friends when

747
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:07,120
you grow up. We're all exposed. You

748
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,040
didn't live with any exposed. It's not

749
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,680
funny. I'm not wrong.

750
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,400
I like the people that are all chapped.

751
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,640
Yeah, you got that little bit of crack

752
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,320
taste with that little bit of camel, like

753
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:21,480
that hint of dope.

754
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,520
Like one time, oh, you want to hear a

755
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,280
really great story. I got the dope.

756
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,120
Everybody said this bear that man left me

757
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:35,920
except for Brad. Like they pretty much

758
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,080
left me right. What's up?

759
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,640
Hey dude. I told him I give him like 30,

760
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,200
40 bucks. I'll be back in a momento.

761
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,760
I don't even know Spanish.

762
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,960
I made a ******* mistake to start *******

763
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:55,1000
her, but I only did it because I got a

764
00:39:55,1000 --> 00:39:57,400
cell phone out of the deal. She wanted me

765
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:58,1000
to be her security. And she's like, yeah,

766
00:39:58,1000 --> 00:40:00,160
I'll pay you. And she gave me like 10

767
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,400
bucks one night. She's a ******* gutter

768
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,640
****. She's a prostitute. She ***** me.

769
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,1000
***** me for ******* money. Like good

770
00:40:07,1000 --> 00:40:09,360
amount too. She charges too hungry.

771
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:14,960
Oh, sorry about the door. I'm swinging to

772
00:40:15,1000 --> 00:40:17,680
the dog. Who's talking about me?We were

773
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,200
just talking about you. Oh, what'd you

774
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,720
say?You got some cool *** tattoos. Show

775
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,160
me your tattoo. **** yeah, you.

776
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,840
Oh, you want to see my other one?Yeah.

777
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,720
All right. Check this **** out.

778
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,640
Darn. What is that?This

779
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,640
is my new one. It's a, it's a yellow

780
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,520
bird. Like, this fan like Bryce,

781
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,440
he talks about yellow birds, but my

782
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,600
version is a human heart. Oh, really like

783
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,320
that. With a skull in it. And like flame

784
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,640
wings and **** that says misery. He's

785
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,200
flying over misery. 'Cause I always want

786
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,240
misery in my pocket. You know,

787
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,480
I beat the **** out of people and do 'em

788
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,520
in the *** and like hurt 'em and ah,

789
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,240
I **** 'em, shoot 'em. Anything nastier

790
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:01,560
like, you know, all them things you

791
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,280
wanted to do to people. Yeah, I was doing

792
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,040
****** ** ****. Trying to like 500 and

793
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,360
******* in his ***. Call myself

794
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,960
dumbnatrix. But you know, it's

795
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,200
self-proclaimed because I mean, I got my

796
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,640
*** kicked enough back in the day and I

797
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,200
could handle pain or any ************ I

798
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,480
think. I'm gonna get so much play. I met

799
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,200
Brad and like he always talked to me all

800
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,320
happy like, but he hates everybody. So

801
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,360
yeah, I guess we're friends.

802
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:23,880
She came to my crib and I was just like,

803
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,080
you know, I'm gonna ****. I'd wait in the

804
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,360
car while she did her thing. We used to

805
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,040
go to this truck stop right up here, ****

806
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,040
some dude in there and spin her a harder

807
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,1000
and catch on. Crack cocaine. No,

808
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,240
I beat the **** out of a guy in a truck.

809
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,480
Black lizards, the hookers at the truck

810
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,320
stop. Yeah, that's what he told me. It

811
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,160
was like wild lizards. ***** I'm in every

812
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,080
trailer parked in here, man. I've opened

813
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:45,440
the Derby Run, yeah, that's the white

814
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,160
crackhead. We crawl on each other's city.

815
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:49,920
I've been in that one they tore down on

816
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,640
Halloween, we were supposed to burn. I

817
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:52,920
never did this until I went on the

818
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,920
internet, man. I get shy dudes in credit

819
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,960
cards. I'll break your shiners quit. Even

820
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,960
I'm like, okay, all right, let's do this.

821
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,120
****. I grew up on the street and in

822
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,920
crappy little everywhere. I've never

823
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:03,920
lived in a place for more than three

824
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,800
months. Yeah. And she got a mall,

825
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,600
yo. The

826
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:10,960
movie's got parasites in

827
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,480
it. Yeah. Okay, what they are is, it's a

828
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,560
parasite. They're little, you see these

829
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:19,520
little, all of these, like see all these

830
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,400
little guys here?And like, basically, I'm

831
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,400
pretty positive that I got them from

832
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,240
YouTube. What the ****?You

833
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:29,520
got a needle. You got a needle. It's got

834
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,440
germs on it. I'm not a doctor. Are they

835
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:32,1000
eating away at your skin or some ****?

836
00:42:32,1000 --> 00:42:34,600
Yeah. They're like this. You gotta have a

837
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,120
space to get in. Wait, let me get closer.

838
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,040
******* diaper and she just put it in a

839
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,920
mic. I was in West Virginia. We went to

840
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,960
this ******* cemetery. It was like a

841
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,360
family owned one in the middle of that

842
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,080
way. And we dug this ******* body up. We

843
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,080
needed a left hand and it was a woman.

844
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,680
And when we ******* dug it up, it was

845
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,360
like, just ****** me all up because the

846
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:01,880
smell was so horrible and it took us

847
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:03,920
forever to do it. Was that she added a

848
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,800
fresh dead person, dude?Oh, my

849
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,120
friend?Yes. This

850
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,320
older man and

851
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,280
he has like dough andThere's these

852
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,240
chicks and he wants chicks to like

853
00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:21,080
play. He's into, what is it, bestiality

854
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,1000
and all that and ***** stuff. He cops

855
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,800
all these drugs and these girls come over

856
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,480
and I mean, he's got some low budget

857
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,040
chicks at the moment, you know, just

858
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,680
straight. I'll smoke all your **** and

859
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,680
tease you, you know. How old are they?All

860
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,600
kinds of ages. How old is he?He's like at

861
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,520
least... 65-ish, I think.

862
00:43:41,1000 --> 00:43:44,040
I'm pretty much his pep school

863
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,760
instructor. You know, I'm teaching him

864
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:47,760
like, if you have one 8-ball, you have

865
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,960
two chicks come over and it's gone and

866
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,680
you didn't even get but two seconds of a

867
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,640
lick that sucks. You know what I mean?

868
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,400
Yeah, but see, he doesn't understand.

869
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,800
Okay, an ugly dude, right?He knows he's

870
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,040
ugly, so he's gonna... talk to *******.

871
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:02,720
Like, do you see what I'm saying?Like,

872
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,840
you don't know how to get what you want

873
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,760
and how you are. He listened to me a lot

874
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,480
and I'm teaching him all these words and

875
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,200
****. And he, you know, he's getting

876
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,800
really good at the lingo and ****. This

877
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,760
is a really great dude. Cause I mean,

878
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,080
he looks out for me. You know, I've had

879
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,360
some more times lately. I'd probably be

880
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,040
dead now if I'm looking for him. I taught

881
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,840
him this other thing. More or less the

882
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,440
lines on how to dominate the situation.

883
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,440
you look uh cuz pretty much explaining

884
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,320
the fact look in the in this world of

885
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,880
drugs um you know what the **** the

886
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,800
******* want come the hell on they're

887
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,440
crack hoes and look they're trying to

888
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,400
get whatever they can for nothing all

889
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,480
right and if you don't come out and know

890
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,400
that you know what I'm sayingThen you're

891
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,560
gonna get ran the **** over. You tell

892
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,080
them what to do. So I was like, man,

893
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,880
look, take control. We brought this one

894
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,880
chick over and she was my first test for

895
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:56,1000
him. I mean, as far as me helping the

896
00:44:56,1000 --> 00:44:59,200
situation, she's brand new. When I come

897
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,680
over, you have a set price. Like, when I

898
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,480
go to calls, it's business.

899
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,120
You have your door fee money up front.

900
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,720
Figure out what you want, if I'm charging

901
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:11,920
you, I shouldn't take that ****. And you

902
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,840
know, pay it up, then I'm gonna do my

903
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,800
job, right?Okay, if you pay the *****

904
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,840
you know, freely, she's not gonna do

905
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,240
anything. So, I was like, Look, so what

906
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:23,600
are you trying to pay the ***** and what

907
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,040
do you want?You want it dead?I'm like,

908
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,1000
Alright, let me take care of this. Have a

909
00:45:27,1000 --> 00:45:30,960
40 bag ready, and already bagged

910
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,760
up. Have one hit for her when she gets

911
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,120
here, and let me take care of the rest.

912
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,840
So the girl gets there, and I'm like,

913
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,200
What's good, you know?I'm good with

914
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,240
ladies. And then ******* I'm like, How

915
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:46,440
you doing, da-da, you're hot, this and

916
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:47,1000
that. I'm like, Look, this is a lowdown,

917
00:45:47,1000 --> 00:45:50,160
dude. That's my friend here, you know,

918
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,120
like family, look. And I know what

919
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,760
you're here for and you like smoking, but

920
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,080
I'm gonna be real with you, you know.

921
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,480
Look, these ******* run through 'em and

922
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,080
they don't do ****. Look, the man will

923
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,920
pay you very good. But the fact is he has

924
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,040
certain needs. He doesn't just do this to

925
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,1000
watch ******* smoke crack. I mean, you

926
00:46:09,1000 --> 00:46:12,880
know, nobody does. And I'm

927
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,960
like, Look, um, what are you down for?I

928
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,920
mean, you could play with me in front of

929
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,480
him. You could, you know what I'm saying,

930
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:22,960
do all this. She's like, I'm not gay, but

931
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,840
I think I would be for you. Like, that's

932
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,120
how good it was. Well, do you **** ****?

933
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:28,800
She's like, Yeah. I'm

934
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,960
like, Great. Pull out the bag. You know,

935
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,640
always show them what they want. I'm

936
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:38,160
like, Look, this is what you'll be paid.

937
00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:40,680
Of course, that's gonna make it better,

938
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,400
right?'Cause he does it the whole, you

939
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,360
know, questionably way. You

940
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:46,840
know, I was like, You're not gonna touch

941
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,240
this ****. I'm tired, you're done. You

942
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,800
don't spend your money before you make

943
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,440
it. Right?And, um...

944
00:46:54,1000 --> 00:46:56,880
You can have this hip right here. I gave

945
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,880
her another. And then we'll get

946
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,400
to work. And, uh,

947
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,880
she's like, Great, da, da, da, I love how

948
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,120
you're so blunt and this and that. Well,

949
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,200
so I said, give her that hint. Send the

950
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,480
***** to work. Sitting there sucking a

951
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,960
***** ****. Two eights. Two eights.

952
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:17,440
Sitting there sucking a ***** ****. Like

953
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,080
a little pro champion *****. She was a

954
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,280
good one. You know what I'm saying?She

955
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,320
was done. Gave her a **** and a little

956
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,600
done of weed. She wanted some money for

957
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:29,600
cigarettes and she left. Now, it took

958
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,560
about maybe 45 minutes for

959
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,120
that. She didn't sit and smoke all that

960
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,560
****. She has something to go home with.

961
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,800
For those, like all these girls who try

962
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,720
and act, they're not ****** and this and

963
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,160
that, like he should pay them just to sit

964
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,240
there. He's an old dude and he has heart

965
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:47,1000
problems, man. They would knock on his

966
00:47:47,1000 --> 00:47:50,320
windows all night, like making his ****

967
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,120
hot. He has a, look, he's very high

968
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,160
ranked, man, as far as a lot of things,

969
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:56,640
I'm not gonna talk about it, you know,

970
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,360
but he's done a lot in his

971
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,840
life for a lot of people, you know,

972
00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,720
and it's ****** **. Because

973
00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:07,160
And look, and they be making him feel bad

974
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:09,360
for ****. You know what I'm saying?Like,

975
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,480
feeling guilty for that. I'm like, *****

976
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:12,720
you better start yelling at these

977
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,880
*************. Kick them ******* in line,

978
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:16,480
you know?You know what I'm saying?You

979
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,400
tell that ***** to get down on the floor

980
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,440
and ******* **** herself, you know?

981
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,1000
And then get up on **** **** and suck it,

982
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,880
or she ain't getting ****. You know what

983
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:28,800
I'm saying?**** that, dude. You know what

984
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,080
I'm saying?You're in control, you have

985
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,840
the ******* drugs. We all know that

986
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,480
******* are sucking on your ***** for one

987
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,160
******* reason. They don't like you. They

988
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:37,680
act like they're your friend. They want

989
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,440
to cook you food and all. That's just for

990
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,960
them not having to do something. It's

991
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,120
like fluff, man. Everyone's about fluff.

992
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,360
It's like the world's about fluff, dude.

993
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,160
It's ********. It's like I hate living.

994
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,560
You're right. And that's when I say to

995
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,520
you certain things you learn in life and

996
00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:55,1000
realize that you should say you can't

997
00:48:55,1000 --> 00:48:58,880
kick. That's why my only plan in

998
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,880
life is to get rich. So I can sit in

999
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,680
a mansion on the hill until I wanna ****

1000
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,360
***. And if I want a drug habit, then I'm

1001
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,880
gonna cop it. Like, serious one, cause

1002
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:10,880
one reason. ***** if you're gonna do

1003
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,480
something, you can do it right. I ain't

1004
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,200
no small time ***** if I'm gonna cop a

1005
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:15,800
drug habit, I'm not gonna be scrounging

1006
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,400
from my 20s, *****. I'm gonna

1007
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,240
******* have enough to kill myself.

1008
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,800
Like the guy from Ribon, he had the

1009
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:24,480
funds.

1010
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,760
Yeah, well, this is what crack does.

1011
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,080
Kicking, it just prolongs your sickness.

1012
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,480
Crack, it speeds up your metabolism. When

1013
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,160
you smoke the crack, it pushes out of

1014
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,960
your system faster. You feel more sick,

1015
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:40,880
but it does actually get it out of your

1016
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,880
system faster. Well, I don't just do

1017
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,600
crack or do air.

1018
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,200
I do whatever the **** I'm getting,

1019
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,120
*****. No, I just like being ****** **

1020
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,320
dude. It's a choice. ******* *** I do

1021
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,400
have a lucigen freak. Old school to the

1022
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,120
core of that ****. Will make you a

1023
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:58,760
******* crazy. It's probably the reason

1024
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,640
why I think of all these crazy theories

1025
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:02,680
But it opens your mind the reality of a

1026
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,800
lot of things 9% of things don't matter

1027
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,600
all the rules they like I was just keep

1028
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,720
us in control like religion all that

1029
00:50:08,720 --> 00:50:10,680
going to work ****. It's just another

1030
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,600
reason for Total anarchy to not be here

1031
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:15,440
because people's lower followers. They

1032
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,440
need something to believe in Same reason

1033
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,520
why alcoholics fall into God, dude There

1034
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,200
are a lot of people who commit suicide

1035
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,760
and 90% of those people do it because

1036
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,600
they're weak me. I know howI'm gonna die.

1037
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,960
I'm gonna take my own life. Save myself

1038
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,280
the ******* trouble, having to ******* be

1039
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:33,640
old and decrepit. I won't have the

1040
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,600
strength to hang myself. And

1041
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,480
if I... I mean, look at me, I'm a little

1042
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:40,800
girl.

1043
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,760
You know what?It doesn't make things go

1044
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,560
away. You just don't

1045
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,880
feel them. They're still there. You just

1046
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,440
don't feel them. I do drugs. It's my

1047
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:01,680
self-medication. It makes me feel better.

1048
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,320
Does it work?24 pills a day. I guess.

1049
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:06,200
And that's what I'm not taking.

1050
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,440
One day I'll learn how to shoot myself.

1051
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,480
I'm about to shoot some oxycrotton. I got

1052
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:16,480
these for my mom.

1053
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:20,600
We saying I have this girl named Bina.

1054
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,600
She was a straight-up crack horse. Girl

1055
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,520
used to **** **** everything for crack,

1056
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,040
like 10 bucks, like... I ****** her.

1057
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,160
She's got the ugliest ***** I've ever

1058
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,360
****** with. Yeah, that **** is *******

1059
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,960
nasty. It looks like it's gonna bite you.

1060
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,800
Her son, a roach crawled into his ear and

1061
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,280
died and he had to go to the hospital

1062
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:39,120
because a ******* cockroach died into his

1063
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,440
ear. His ear hurt. Yeah, she's a raunchy,

1064
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,760
nasty hoe too. She has a crazy

1065
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:45,920
girlfriend, that like...

1066
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,360
What are you?Like you

1067
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,760
need a pole. I would not dance, but run

1068
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,520
it off, dude. I can feel your rose. You

1069
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:55,840
look like a Jew that came out of the

1070
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,440
concentration camp, okay?I'm

1071
00:52:59,1000 --> 00:53:00,400
sorry, dude,

1072
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:03,840
I'm sorry. I'm not

1073
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:13,720
This **** is so

1074
00:53:13,720 --> 00:53:16,720
much better than heroin. Take

1075
00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:19,600
this. Okay, are you gonna be okay?Yeah.

1076
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,720
Unfortunately, Brad's the

1077
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,640
only person who's allowed to die in my

1078
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:26,800
apartment and not get thrown at a

1079
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:27,440
dumpster.

1080
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,320
Lab created heroin, and it's-- What's the

1081
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,240
heroin?The pain never goes away.

1082
00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:39,400
Yeah, and you take it off at one time?And

1083
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,720
love you. And you can wear it

1084
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:44,720
out. It's sickness, man. When you get

1085
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,560
addicted to opiates, it's more than just

1086
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,840
an addiction. I just hope that one day.

1087
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:58,240
You want to kill me?Cotton candy clap.

1088
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,040
***** don't even make me regulate this

1089
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:02,680
****. You forgot who the **** I am,

1090
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,600
************. And I'm out of *******

1091
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,600
misery, *****. I'll learn you like my

1092
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,200
daddy learned you. I'll learn you in the

1093
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:09,1000
face with my little ************. And it

1094
00:54:09,1000 --> 00:54:12,160
is eight inches. I'll ******* I'll

1095
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:14,800
punch you in the ******* uterus.

1096
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,240
See you all until you're about to die.

1097
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,120
It's the best way to smoke crack. I've

1098
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:21,800
been drinking a lot. Oh yeah, I'm working

1099
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,360
with a little bit of something. Give me a

1100
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,760
**** done ***. Quitters are quitters,

1101
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:27,640
*****. I'm an enthusiast.

1102
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:29,400
**** right!

1103
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,640
Shoot some whiskey. That's a

1104
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:35,840
tribute to Angie.

1105
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:43,400
Shoot me. I'll do all your *************

1106
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:44,680
drugs, ***** so you don't have to worry

1107
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,240
about thinking about having a *******

1108
00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:48,360
feeling that you could. I don't know that

1109
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,160
that's a friend, dude. Give me your head,

1110
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:53,120
my boy. Yeah, you do. If you

1111
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,720
******* pierce my jugular,

1112
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:58,960
remember, who saved you?That's the

1113
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:00,880
only thing that's who killed you, *****.

1114
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,440
That would be a funny one. This is making

1115
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:02,800
me kind

1116
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:08,080
of hard.

1117
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:47,1000
What burns are you?Sure.

1118
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:54,280
My work is done.

1119
00:57:01,1000 --> 00:57:04,560
Oh. Really, baby,

1120
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:06,560
would

1121
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,280
come... Don't burn

1122
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:12,960
these *************.

1123
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:20,920
Grab my cup.

1124
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:30,600
We don't get us wrong when I crack heads

1125
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:31,080
or anything

1126
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:40,480
Back when I first started using dub I met

1127
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,560
this really old cat he goes by the name

1128
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:45,400
of cat Paul and he's like60-something

1129
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:47,560
years old, really cool *** black dude,

1130
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,080
really the only black dude I **** with.

1131
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,280
He gets me dope, and he's a fiend

1132
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,720
himself, but he's like a dad to me. I've

1133
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,760
known him for a long *** time, so we went

1134
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:58,400
through him. He taught me the whole game.

1135
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:00,560
When I sold heroin, it'd always go

1136
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,200
through him. I mean like a dad,

1137
00:58:03,1000 --> 00:58:06,760
he bought me up and just raised me in the

1138
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,520
whole dope game. He taught me everything,

1139
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,480
how to weigh it, how to put cut in it,

1140
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:13,600
and plus when Angie was still alive, he

1141
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,480
was her hookup. Been in the

1142
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,200
Navy almost 27 years. Originally, I

1143
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:22,160
liked the, I like to

1144
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:24,960
travel. Yeah. I like to get out to sea. I

1145
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,920
know what I'm doing out to sea. The hard

1146
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,440
part now is being away. I'm done

1147
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,080
traveling. I've seen everything I want to

1148
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,280
see. I'm from the hills of West Virginia.

1149
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:34,920
I worked at the coal mines before I came

1150
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:37,920
to the Navy. And I thought, well, come

1151
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,160
out of that hole one day. I just ain't

1152
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:40,320
going back. I ain't going back in this

1153
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:42,960
hole. Did you guys get along when he was

1154
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:44,720
growing up and stuff?I wasn't here a

1155
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:47,040
whole lot. Yeah.

1156
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,400
Thing it was, when I, my wife would

1157
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,400
raise him most of the time. When I'd come

1158
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,840
back home, then I would try to buy that

1159
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:56,960
love back or buy that time I missed back

1160
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,320
by just giving, giving, giving. And,

1161
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:03,080
you know, we didn't, we didn't see eye to

1162
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:04,520
eye on a lot of things. Then when he got

1163
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:07,200
a teenager, we really started

1164
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:09,040
getting at each other. Yeah.

1165
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,640
I know Brad. Brad's into a lot of things.

1166
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,200
I know Brad's into drugs and everything

1167
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,680
else. I've done everything I can to help

1168
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,560
him that I possibly could. Like I said, I

1169
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,280
did everything I could for him. No matter

1170
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,480
what Brad does and how things go, he's

1171
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:28,240
still my son. I mean, he is still my son.

1172
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:31,280
And I'll always love him for

1173
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,520
that. But don't mean I gotta like

1174
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:35,840
him. I pretty much cut most of the

1175
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,880
strings with him. I try to help him out

1176
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,120
when I can, when I can do. And

1177
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,320
the last time we had our knockdown drag

1178
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:44,560
out, I told him, I said, when he was

1179
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:47,240
clean for a year and

1180
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:50,240
had a job and doing the stuff that he's

1181
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:51,880
capable of doing, which he's capable of

1182
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,200
doing. Then he can come back and we can

1183
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,440
start all over again. Until then, until I

1184
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:59,240
know he's clean, I can't deal with him.

1185
01:00:05,950 --> 01:00:08,510
We wanted to get married, get clean,

1186
01:00:08,830 --> 01:00:10,830
and raise our daughter, and maybe have

1187
01:00:10,830 --> 01:00:13,280
kids of our own. I loved her daughter. I

1188
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,360
still do to this day. We had both went to

1189
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,320
rehab and everything, and

1190
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:20,1000
she lost her daughter. Like a couple

1191
01:00:20,1000 --> 01:00:22,560
weeks prior to that, we were trying to

1192
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,200
battle to keep custody of her. And while

1193
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,320
she was in rehab, she pretty much lost

1194
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:28,680
her. She knew she was going to lose her.

1195
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:31,360
A lawyer contacted her. told her that

1196
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,1000
she didn't have a chance in hell so

1197
01:00:35,1000 --> 01:00:38,080
I got out of rehab and put my own money

1198
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,920
up to put Angie in a really good one out

1199
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:43,680
in Newport News and because at

1200
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,080
that time we had a pregnancy scare and I

1201
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:48,320
thought she was pregnant and so you know

1202
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:49,840
I wanted her to have the best rehab to

1203
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,600
get off of it to get the best help she

1204
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,440
could get because I was done with it you

1205
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:55,040
know and I wanted her to be done with it

1206
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,920
if we were gonna make it work you know and

1207
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,120
the night she got out you know I had

1208
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,040
everything set up for her at my house you

1209
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:04,720
know she was coming to move back in you

1210
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,240
know and everything and uh I'm sitting

1211
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:08,960
there waiting and waiting and waiting you

1212
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,920
know and just waiting about two

1213
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:13,600
hours later I get a call from her mom

1214
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:15,520
saying that they found her in Portsmouth

1215
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:17,920
behind the shooting range you know with

1216
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,400
the needle still in her arm and she had

1217
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,360
OD'd off heroin so she

1218
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:26,280
just got out of rehab that night so

1219
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:29,200
the way I see itshe was dead set on

1220
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:32,080
doing it you know our main hookups were

1221
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:33,920
out in Newport News and Portsmouth

1222
01:01:33,1000 --> 01:01:35,1000
Portsmouth is where we got our rawl at

1223
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:39,200
which is what she OD'd off of which is

1224
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,360
the **** I'm doing right now you know

1225
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,320
uh and you shoot up one cap of

1226
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,720
raw just even a half a cap that's gonna

1227
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,720
**** you up you shoot three ******* caps

1228
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:53,680
of raw dude you're asking to OD you know

1229
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:57,120
and uh it's dope

1230
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:00,080
centralIt's an abandoned, it used to be a

1231
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,160
pawn shop slash shooting range where

1232
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:03,1000
people could go in and pay to shoot guns

1233
01:02:03,1000 --> 01:02:06,960
out back. And she

1234
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,600
met a guy named Doc back there

1235
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:10,640
and

1236
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,040
scored three or four caps. I blacked out

1237
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:18,640
when I found out about it and her mom

1238
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:21,120
came and picked me up. We went out there,

1239
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,680
found her, I saw her put her in, you

1240
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:25,040
know, and they put her in a body bag,

1241
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,560
everything, man, you know?

1242
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,480
And we can't identify her body and ****

1243
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,840
and make sure it was her. But I don't

1244
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:35,360
know.

1245
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,680
The paramedics explained to me that she

1246
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,400
was three to four months

1247
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:46,960
pregnant at the time of her death.

1248
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:52,360
And the baby died, you know.

1249
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,440
A lethal shot like that, a dope, you know

1250
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:58,240
what I'm saying?And then, you know, who

1251
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,080
knows what else she had in her system,

1252
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,240
you know?There's no telling. It was a

1253
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:04,960
double funeral for my unborn

1254
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:06,400
child and Angie.

1255
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:15,120
It's a horrible thing. I am pregnant.

1256
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:19,480
This guy,Well, I've

1257
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:21,120
been on birth control for like a long

1258
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:23,080
time now. See, the thing is, I've been

1259
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:25,1000
pregnant one time for 17. I have

1260
01:03:25,1000 --> 01:03:27,1000
nothing, I have no family, I have nobody.

1261
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:30,600
It's all me. I don't trust anybody this

1262
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,520
and that. Due to all this, I'm very

1263
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:35,760
void and distant from people. Completely

1264
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,400
not, like, don't give a **** like... And

1265
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,800
in those moves, it's scary. I'm trying to

1266
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:43,800
have an abortion. I have to give money. I

1267
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:45,200
don't even know how far along I am

1268
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,680
because... Like, when I found out, the

1269
01:03:47,1000 --> 01:03:50,720
dude went to jail. It's like *******

1270
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,440
600 bucks total. I'm kind of screwed at

1271
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:55,720
the moment. I mean, he really broke me

1272
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:57,240
down when I first got pregnant. Like,

1273
01:03:57,760 --> 01:03:59,480
called me a drug addict, this and that.

1274
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:01,240
And I told him I'd go crazy and be mad

1275
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,680
depressed. And he promised one day I'm

1276
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:05,920
gonna ******* take care of me. It's like

1277
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:08,840
two months or things. I

1278
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:10,440
need you to sit really still. Really

1279
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:11,840
still.

1280
01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:23,360
Birds,

1281
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:44,320
Oh yeah.

1282
01:07:50,070 --> 01:07:52,230
These are my beautiful baby boys.

1283
01:07:55,550 --> 01:07:58,390
And they're my babies. I love them

1284
01:07:58,390 --> 01:08:00,590
to death. I had Patrick when I was

1285
01:08:00,590 --> 01:08:03,360
16. My mom kind of scammed me

1286
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,840
into giving her custody of him. And

1287
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:09,280
then she pretty much did the same thing

1288
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:11,680
with Liam when he was born.

1289
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:14,400
And I didn't used to do drugs all the

1290
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:17,320
time. I used to be a

1291
01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:19,1000
full-time mommy.

1292
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,1000
That was all I did. My

1293
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,920
mother thought she could do a

1294
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,320
better job raising my children.

1295
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:32,880
And once I didn't have them,

1296
01:08:33,440 --> 01:08:36,160
I didn't... There wasn't really any

1297
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:37,1000
reason not to **** **.

1298
01:08:52,850 --> 01:08:52,930
Oh.

1299
01:08:58,770 --> 01:08:59,050
**** it.

1300
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:09,600
Wow.

1301
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:13,920
Mark, what's the difference between a

1302
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:16,800
pizza and a chip?A pizza

1303
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:17,920
doesn't scrape when you

1304
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:22,800
put it in the oven.

1305
01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:23,880
Holy ****. It's the same as it has been

1306
01:09:23,880 --> 01:09:26,880
all night, but I just did more than I had

1307
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,040
been. I had to recap.

1308
01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:36,280
Is that more than you would usually

1309
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:39,120
have?Yeah. I hate your face. Yeah, see

1310
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,520
that baby ground. I'm gonna

1311
01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:45,040
call it arterial skirting.

1312
01:10:00,010 --> 01:10:03,010
We need our arms. We're trying

1313
01:10:03,010 --> 01:10:03,690
to get all roads.

1314
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:10,240
Oh

1315
01:10:43,290 --> 01:10:43,450
no.

1316
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,640
Oh, lovely, Raven. What's wrong?Nothing.

1317
01:10:51,440 --> 01:10:53,800
No, Mummy gave me a pamphlet. That's

1318
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,040
Raven. This pamphlet.

1319
01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,880
She doesn't have a pamphlet. No?No.

1320
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:28,800
My heart's not gonna be right when I die.

1321
01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:32,960
in my heart. I ain't going to, I'll be

1322
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:34,760
going downstairs, not upstairs, you know

1323
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,120
what I'm saying?So I gotta get this made

1324
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,600
right. Even if it's just to tell him what

1325
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:42,480
I think of him, so. What would you tell

1326
01:11:42,480 --> 01:11:42,640
him?

1327
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:48,1000
What would I tell him?I'd

1328
01:11:48,1000 --> 01:11:51,840
probably ask him why. He did

1329
01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:55,200
to two little girls, the things that he

1330
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:57,680
did. Three and four year old kids

1331
01:11:57,680 --> 01:11:59,360
shouldn't remember stuff like this.

1332
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:02,040
And this is really bad

1333
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:06,320
of him teaching my

1334
01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:09,320
cousin how to sexually abuse me and

1335
01:12:09,320 --> 01:12:12,320
my sister. What

1336
01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:14,640
kind of father does that?You know, when

1337
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:16,480
you take a three or four year old kid,

1338
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:18,960
they don't really know what's happening

1339
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,880
to him until it's almost over with, you

1340
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,520
know what I'm saying?And that's how he

1341
01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:24,560
got his kicks.

1342
01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:28,640
He would sit down and make me and my

1343
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:30,480
sister sit in front of him and he would

1344
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:33,360
play the guitar for real

1345
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:35,840
slow, just strum it and strum it

1346
01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:38,960
and strum it. Just the same chord

1347
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:41,680
over and over. And me and my

1348
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:44,360
sister, we both would swear to each

1349
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,840
other, we're not gonna cry, we're not

1350
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:47,440
gonna cry, we're gonna be strong. We'd

1351
01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:50,360
hold hands. Usually it was downstairs or

1352
01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:52,040
something like that in the basement or

1353
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:53,520
something like that, no lights and stuff

1354
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:56,320
like that, you know, that was,in a

1355
01:12:56,320 --> 01:12:58,320
little box that me and my sister, we

1356
01:12:58,320 --> 01:13:00,560
always had these little boxes inside of

1357
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:03,040
us that we would put those bad things in,

1358
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:05,600
you know. Little girls do silly things

1359
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:07,360
like that. Nobody helps. They

1360
01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:14,480
wanted to cut the machines off. My

1361
01:13:14,480 --> 01:13:16,960
husband says, Well, you unplug her.

1362
01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:21,920
He says, I've seen you in hell. Nobody

1363
01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:23,920
unplug me, it's a good thing 'cause I was

1364
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:26,880
waking upfew weeks later, but

1365
01:13:26,880 --> 01:13:29,840
this time I was paralyzed. All you

1366
01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:31,960
can do is look and hope, because you can

1367
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:34,400
still feel, but you're

1368
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,480
paralyzed. You can't speak,

1369
01:13:38,440 --> 01:13:40,200
and the tears would come out floating,

1370
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:43,480
and in blackness. There was no light, no

1371
01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:46,400
nothing, blackness. There

1372
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:48,800
was a butterfly at one time, you know,

1373
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:51,120
just looking in darkness.

1374
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:01,360
I was in labor five days with that boy.

1375
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:04,640
He was trying to come out his shoulder

1376
01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:07,240
first. I almost died with that baby. Me

1377
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:09,200
and him both almost died. He would have

1378
01:14:09,200 --> 01:14:10,840
broke his neck and it would have killed

1379
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:13,440
me too. So I had a C-section. I had a

1380
01:14:13,440 --> 01:14:16,320
temperature I think of 106

1381
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,680
and put me on a bit of ice. He was a very

1382
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:22,200
happy kid. He was proud of his dad.

1383
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:27,120
Dad wasn't always there. But

1384
01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:32,520
they were... They didn't

1385
01:14:32,520 --> 01:14:35,520
start... The void didn't

1386
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:36,720
come until...

1387
01:14:53,1000 --> 01:14:56,720
I still blame myself and I will always

1388
01:14:56,720 --> 01:14:58,960
blame myself. I

1389
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:01,080
know he was experimenting.

1390
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:04,960
I got ill and I brought the medicine in

1391
01:15:05,040 --> 01:15:07,760
the house. It was mine. It

1392
01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:09,360
still come from me and...

1393
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:12,760
He was taking it from me and no matter

1394
01:15:12,760 --> 01:15:14,720
what I did, I couldn't keep him out of

1395
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:17,640
it. Tox actually was, to me, I thought

1396
01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:19,760
was my choice of driving in the beginning

1397
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:21,1000
because it, you know, it gave me that hit

1398
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:24,640
real quick and it took the pain away. And

1399
01:15:24,640 --> 01:15:26,640
from Tilox, it just gradually went from

1400
01:15:26,640 --> 01:15:29,080
Tilox to Darvasat, from Darvasat to

1401
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:31,880
Demeron, from Demeron, you know, just

1402
01:15:31,880 --> 01:15:34,520
keeps going up until you're on the most

1403
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:36,960
hardest stuff and there's 991, you know

1404
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:38,560
what I'm saying?What's the hardest stuff?

1405
01:15:39,680 --> 01:15:42,320
the synthetic heroin. There's nothing

1406
01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:45,200
no harder than that, you know?What's that

1407
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:47,840
called though?Fentanyl. Yeah, that's what

1408
01:15:47,840 --> 01:15:50,680
these are. Where are they at?There they

1409
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:53,600
are. These are 75 milligram

1410
01:15:53,600 --> 01:15:55,720
patches. I was taking the fentanyl

1411
01:15:55,720 --> 01:15:58,320
lollipops and that was

1412
01:15:58,320 --> 01:15:59,1000
actually the ones that was affecting my

1413
01:15:59,1000 --> 01:16:01,1000
sleep often, causing my sleep often

1414
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:04,560
really to be nasty. When I was on the

1415
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,200
meds, I was hurting myself, I stabbed

1416
01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:07,760
myself in the head one time with

1417
01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:10,360
scissors. almost bled to death there was

1418
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:12,640
a pair of scissors on the sink and I

1419
01:16:12,640 --> 01:16:15,440
guess who knows why there's no

1420
01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:18,160
answers I just remember waking up and my

1421
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:21,040
head was down and I licked the floor was

1422
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:23,280
covered saturated and I mean saturated in

1423
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:26,160
blood and I'm covered in blood and I'm

1424
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:28,040
looking arms and I didn't think but I

1425
01:16:28,040 --> 01:16:30,880
noticed I'm seeing foggy you know my

1426
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:33,600
vein and I felt my head and it was

1427
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:36,080
crunchy and I stabbed myself

1428
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,480
twice see you have all these little teeny

1429
01:16:38,1000 --> 01:16:41,840
veins in your head, they're bleeders.

1430
01:16:45,680 --> 01:16:48,040
Brad, when I would catch him

1431
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:50,960
stealing my drugs, he was

1432
01:16:50,960 --> 01:16:53,760
really genuinely sorry. He would

1433
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:54,1000
try so hard not to.

1434
01:16:57,680 --> 01:16:59,520
And I hate myself, that's why I hate him.

1435
01:17:00,960 --> 01:17:03,120
Why?I don't understand.

1436
01:17:04,320 --> 01:17:06,240
He did try so hard.

1437
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:10,440
He didn't want to hurt me. He wasn't

1438
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:13,200
trying to hurt me. He was

1439
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:15,440
just trying to make himself, you know

1440
01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:18,320
what I'm saying, get rid of the pain

1441
01:17:18,560 --> 01:17:20,800
that he was having from not having it,

1442
01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:23,120
you know, the withdrawal.

1443
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:26,880
And I'll be honest with you, I tried to

1444
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:29,120
help him so many times, come down off of

1445
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:32,120
it easy, and my bad parent

1446
01:17:32,120 --> 01:17:34,800
for doing that. I tried to wean him off

1447
01:17:34,800 --> 01:17:37,520
of it. Some people would have known that,

1448
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:39,080
they would have told they could have put

1449
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:41,920
me in jail for that, you know that?And I

1450
01:17:41,920 --> 01:17:42,600
love him.

1451
01:17:47,200 --> 01:17:49,600
I would do anything for him and see him

1452
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:50,400
and my husband.

1453
01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:56,840
I wish I could take his habit and put it

1454
01:17:56,840 --> 01:17:59,760
in my body. No

1455
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:01,280
way he wouldn't have it no longer.

1456
01:18:10,990 --> 01:18:12,870
When he turned 18,

1457
01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:16,630
he started dating women with drug

1458
01:18:17,150 --> 01:18:19,790
problems and also had

1459
01:18:19,790 --> 01:18:21,990
illnesses and

1460
01:18:23,750 --> 01:18:26,590
I was older than him. Lots older than

1461
01:18:26,590 --> 01:18:28,640
him. He was trying to

1462
01:18:30,240 --> 01:18:33,200
get another mom or recreate another

1463
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,080
mom, but he still had

1464
01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:38,360
me. That's what I don't understand iswhy.

1465
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:44,760
Because he's got, I won't let him die.

1466
01:18:45,1000 --> 01:18:48,760
I won't let him die. I can't let him die.

1467
01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:55,680
We're gonna die anyway. There's not so

1468
01:18:55,680 --> 01:18:57,880
much wanting to die. Yeah. Just knowing

1469
01:18:57,880 --> 01:18:59,960
it's gonna happen. We're gonna die

1470
01:18:59,1000 --> 01:19:00,960
anything one day. Uh,

1471
01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:15,510
Chris. What happened to Chris?He's

1472
01:19:16,590 --> 01:19:18,430
dead. Yeah.

1473
01:19:19,990 --> 01:19:20,310
He's dead.

1474
01:19:26,390 --> 01:19:27,710
I'm gonna go over Raven, tell us over

1475
01:19:27,710 --> 01:19:30,470
Raven. Uh, she's dead

1476
01:19:30,470 --> 01:19:30,790
too.

1477
01:19:34,080 --> 01:19:35,520
She looked pretty dead.

1478
01:19:42,860 --> 01:19:45,180
I just don't care. Neither do I.

1479
01:19:45,980 --> 01:19:48,420
Nobody likes to see their people that are

1480
01:19:48,420 --> 01:19:50,380
close to them destroy themselves.

1481
01:19:52,140 --> 01:19:53,900
That's why I don't have friends anymore.

1482
01:19:54,300 --> 01:19:56,500
They'll see me. Well, I got rid of a lot

1483
01:19:56,540 --> 01:19:59,500
of my friends. None of my friends got rid

1484
01:19:59,500 --> 01:20:02,480
of me. I

1485
01:20:02,480 --> 01:20:04,400
really because I didn't want to get the

1486
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:06,960
hassle because then every time I hang out

1487
01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:09,160
with them so I just saved them and myself

1488
01:20:09,840 --> 01:20:11,800
a bunch of ******** drama. Yeah. ****

1489
01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:14,760
them. Yeah, exactly. ****

1490
01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:17,840
them. They're not going to

1491
01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:19,720
help me out. I damn sure ain't going out

1492
01:20:19,720 --> 01:20:22,200
with them now. I don't like having a

1493
01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:24,360
bunch of them. He's my friend. Yeah.

1494
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:27,160
That's your friend?Yeah. Is

1495
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:31,680
that a good friend?Well, this one?Yeah.

1496
01:20:33,520 --> 01:20:34,080
It's not bad.

1497
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,1000
You want this?How much is in it?

1498
01:20:53,720 --> 01:20:55,800
I don't know. Let's see. Yeah,

1499
01:20:57,360 --> 01:20:58,920
that's a ******* lot. Yeah.

1500
01:21:14,920 --> 01:21:14,960
I

1501
01:21:33,870 --> 01:21:36,510
can't let my son

1502
01:21:36,510 --> 01:21:38,990
go to drugs and drag swallowing my paw. I

1503
01:21:46,550 --> 01:21:49,270
want him to have a good life. I want him

1504
01:21:49,270 --> 01:21:51,110
to wake up and not dread,

1505
01:21:52,390 --> 01:21:55,150
you know, God, who do I have to hide from

1506
01:21:55,150 --> 01:21:57,910
today, or is somebody looking for me, or

1507
01:21:57,910 --> 01:22:00,150
what do I have to do to get a hit, you

1508
01:22:00,150 --> 01:22:00,470
know?

1509
01:22:07,920 --> 01:22:10,560
He told me that one time. He begged me

1510
01:22:10,560 --> 01:22:13,440
so hard for some oxycodone

1511
01:22:13,760 --> 01:22:16,720
one time. He says, Mom, please.

1512
01:22:17,040 --> 01:22:19,1000
He says, you don't know what it's like,

1513
01:22:19,1000 --> 01:22:21,880
what I'll have to do to go get it, Mom.

1514
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:25,1000
And I gave it to him.

1515
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:38,520
I didn't want him shooting that **** in

1516
01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:41,440
his veins, so I got it in my

1517
01:22:41,440 --> 01:22:43,280
head. I thought, well, maybe I could wean

1518
01:22:43,280 --> 01:22:46,080
him off. Was that so wrong?

1519
01:24:27,240 --> 01:24:29,640
And I am the person...

1520
01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:33,400
with... the talent

1521
01:24:33,480 --> 01:24:34,1000
of... doing this.

1522
01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:40,360
Woo! La la la la la la! Here, going into

1523
01:24:40,400 --> 01:24:41,120
my bed for you!

1524
01:24:49,1000 --> 01:24:51,520
What's that?Okay, let me see.

1525
01:25:01,060 --> 01:25:02,340
This belongs to my mother.